I'm back cos I'm broken.

POST LAST NOVEMBER something...

I don't know why I feel so bothered lately. I can't stop thinking about things. What things? I don't know either. I am just so confused with what I am feeling right now. Ever felt like you need a lot of explanation but there's no one to explain? I am searching for tons of answers lately and this feeling just makes me act super weird. I can't sleep nor eat properly. At school, I feel I am okay but when I get home, here goes my mind wandering again. :| Trying to analyze people's advices and responses to every happening makes me insane. I'm getting sick and tired of this feeling but I just can't forget. Honestly, maybe this is just because of one person. As much as I want to ignore everything that happened between us, I really can't. I know it's pathetic. :(

On the other hand, I can't tell that person what I'm going through right now. I am too scared that I might lose him. I am too afraid that he might think I am such an obsessed and easy girl. Honestly, I really can't find the right words to express what I have here in my heart and mind. I guess this is my first time to feel something like this. Maybe because I think he's perfect for me. He made me truly happy. He made me feel very important. He made me feel loved and secured. Setting aside the sweetness and cuteness he showed, he made me feel something different; something true.

Some people say this is just an infatuation. Maybe, it is. But for me I guess it's not. I think I wouldn't be super problematic and worried about things if I am just playing around like a kid. I wouldn't have those sleepless nights if what I feel for him isn't real. I wouldn't cry every night if he really didn't have an impact on me.I wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night wondering if he's thinking about me. Maybe, I just miss him a lot. I miss talking to him, laughing with him. EVERYTHING. :( I don't know if I would still be able to do those things with him. But I'll keep on praying.... I'll keep on praying for him. For us to be okay someday.

I don't know why I am saying these things, honestly. Perhaps, I just want to burst out half of my drama.

Oh well. I tagged you because you're special to me. Also, I need your prayers, badly. I don't want to feel this way anymore because I think it's too unfair. Maybe it's my fault too cos I don't have the guts to tell him what I feel. I don't have the strength to let him know that what I feel for him. Maybe because I am really scared of losing him. I am scared that he might just leave me without saying goodbye. Or maybe he thinks I am not serious about this. But I know God has plans for me. Just pray that I may have peace of mind. Please.. (Grabe ang labo ko na. Sorry.) I am very very confused. :| :( =((

TO YOU: I am thankful for having someone like you. Thank you for letting me feel this. I just hope things would be crystal clear in time. HAHA. Please don't ever leave me. I don't care what our status is right now, but I really wish that... BLAH. You know that already. I guess I'll be holding on to the things you said before unless you tell me to forget everything. I miss you so much... I miss being with you... I miss everything about you...

KAPAG SINABI KO YUNG ISANG "I MISS", ALAM MO NA KUNG SINO TO. KAYA WAG NA. =))))) KIDDING. :)

I'm sorry for this sabog entry. I should be having fun tonight but.. :|